Stop Touching My Butt

Recently I was taking a training class for work in a building that was new to me. I was walking down the hall and this person comes up behind me and it happened. Out of nowwhere when I was least expecting it. Someone started pushing my wheelchair from behind. My heart begins to race I'm in panic mode. “Please stop.”

The response I receive is “Just put your arms up it's fine I am going to help you. I don't mind.”

“No thank you I prefer to push myself stop now.” My anxiety kicks in as this not so helpful person does not stop and does not slow down. Why is she not heeding my words. Why is this happening. “Stop now right now.” I grip the wheels tighter throwing all my strength into the effort. The wheel rims burn into my hands and I feel a shooting pain in my wrists. My body is thrown slightly forward, but luckily I don't fall out of my chair. I sit still for a few seconds trying to gather myself. “I can push myself thank you.”

“You should let me help you your arms must be tired.” At this point I am getting annoyed, and I am trying my hardest to keep my composure and my tone light. In my head I'm thinking do your legs get tired when you walk?

“My arms are not tired and I prefer to push myself. Please leave me alone.” I say.

“You don't have to get so upset about it I am just trying to help you. You should take help when it is offered to you.” She huffs away. It takes me several minutes to calm myself from the experience and for the rest of the day I vacillate from anger and fear. First why am I at fault here? I am just rolling through the office and you took it upon yourself to “help” despite me saying very nicely no thank you. What if you were walking along and I just came up behind you and picked you up and started carrying you. Wouldn't you object to that?

Why?

Would it be because I had violated your space? Because I took away your right to choose? Because I assumed something that you may not have wanted? EXACTLY!

I have said this before, my chair is a part of my body. No different to me then my arm, my foot or my butt. When someone grabs my chair without my permission and tries to push me it is like being violated. It is like you are touching my butt. You would not want someone you don't know to touch your butt and I don't either.

I know you are just trying to help but your help is more harmful than you know. It makes me feel unsafe and makes me angry. Why are my rights and wishes not as important as yours? Imagine for just a moment you were at a bar just standing there enjoying your drink or time with friends and a perfect stranger comes up and smacks your butt. You would be outraged and you would probably file some sort of complaint right?

This is the same for me and I wish abled people would stop doing it. Please stop touching my butt.