Expectations

The other day I was walking on a path near my house.  This is time I use to de-stress and speak to God about all the things I need to have long conversations about.  I was looking forward to this time because with everything that has gone on lately I needed to speak to the boss about it.  God had other plans for me that day.  I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts “The Chapter Day Bible”, when I heard a voice behind me.  I took off my headphones and the woman said “Can I push you.”  I smiled because this kind of defeated the purpose in coming here but she meant well.  I said no thanks.  To which she said in perfect ablest form “Well I’m going to stay with you for when you need help.”  I smiled again but in my head I was thinking are you serious?

She asked me what I was listening to and I told her it was podcast where a pastor reads the bible one chapter at a time and then prays with you.  She said she had not looked at the Bible in years.  “God doesn’t do anything for me”.  People say this a lot and I always ask the same question “What do you expect God to do for you?”  She explained to me a list of things that had happened to her that she felt God should have protected her from.  A job loss, loss of health, the death of love one, that she is not rich.  Ok I get this thinking it’s everywhere.  There are entire ministries build on it.  They say send us money and God will send it back to you two fold or you are going through _____ because you don’t believe God can deliver you from it.  I hate to break it to you this is bunk.  It’s not in the Bible at all.  In Mark 10:17-31 Jesus didn’t tell the rich man give me all our stuff and I will give it back to you with interest.  He says give up your life and follow me.   Give what you have because I give you eternal life.  I will give you heaven.  There is no story in the Bible where God made money rain from heaven or he healed anyone just because, everything had a reason.  I’m not saying God can’t do all those things, I mean he impregnated a virgin, he made manna rain from the sky, he walked on water, and he healed thousands.  He can do anything but he doesn’t just do those things because you ask for them or because you want them, or because you believe enough.  Jesus told us in Mark we are not good enough.  The disciples were astounded. “Then who in the world can be saved?” they asked.Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.”

God didn’t say believe in me and your life won’t be hard.  He said believe in me and I will give you rest.  He said I will give you life.  Think about it Job went through years of suffering, Peter, Jesus’s best friend, the leader of the early church, was tortured and crucified.  Mary Jesus’s own mother watched her son die in the most horrible way possible.   John the Baptist was put in jail and beheaded.  None of these things sound good or pleasant but God allowed them to happen.  I am not telling you not to ask for what you want.  The Bible says ask and you will be answered, knock and the door will be opened for you.  Philippians says ” Do not be anxious about anything , but in everything make your requests to God ..by prayer, thanksgiving and placing your request to God, the peace of God will guard your heart and mind fully beyond understanding (Phil. 4: 6–7).”  But listen if you pray and God doesn’t answer you it’s not because he doesn’t hear you.  It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you but God is bigger than just me.  

When I was little I never understood why I was different.  I didn’t understand why the kids made fun of me or why God would let these things happen to me.  You see God didn’t mean for my life to be easy.  This world is not my home so I am not meant to be comfortable here.  Neither are you.  We all fail here despite how hard we try.  We can only love God as much as possible in this life and be obedient to him not because he promised us great things here on earth but because he made it possible for us to spend eternity with him.  He gave his only son not because we deserved it but because we don’t.  Because I couldn’t do enough, be good enough, or give enough.  When I was in 6th grade I had this amazing science teacher, Mr. Levin.  Mr. Levin encouraged me and taught me with the patience of a saint because I am terrible at science.  It was hard for me to understand and hard for me to remember but I wanted to do well I wanted to try because I knew Mr. Levin cared about me, he wanted me to learn, he believed in my ability.  

God works kind of like that.  He didn’t say it wouldn’t be hard but he wants to love us, he wants us to learn, to grow.  He believes in us and that is why he sent his son to make sure we had the promise of better things.  So stop expecting your life to be easy.  Instead remember God has the ending worked out for you.  God gave you everything you need, eternal life.  Know that God walks with you through all your trials, he sees your tears, his arms are around you.  Pray without ceasing but don’t expect the answer you want because that is not promised to you.

Welcome to our world - please don't move anything

With the recent arrival of COVID-19 or Corona Virus to the shores of the United States, everyone is encouraged to stay away from large groups and to practice social distancing. Most social events, sporting events, and religious activities are canceled. I have found it interesting how upset my friends and others I know have been about not being able to go out to their choice of activity. I have listened to parents complain about their children having nothing to do and not being able to play with their friends. These are all valid concerns and I understand why this is frustrating for you.

BUT I must say welcome to the life of most people with a disability.

No, I am not being dramatic or joking. The majority of those with disabilities either cannot hold a job or cannot find one. They may also risk losing benefits they need to live independently, such as assistance with home care or personal care if they work. So not going to work is normal for someone with a disability.

You're upset about having nowhere to go but what if you couldn't just pick up and leave even if you had somewhere to go? You have no car to drive and have to depend on others for your basic needs. People are complaining about not being able to make their bills because they have been laid off due to the virus or are unable to go to work because they are not essential. This is a valid and stressful concern, however, this is an everyday concern for those living on a disability payment. Living on disability means that you are living in poverty and if you make additional money your benefits can be cut or eliminated depending on how much you make.

Hopefully, you are practicing social distancing to keep yourself and your family safe. When they announced this recommendation on the news my first thought was "that's my life every day". I have noticed ever since I was little that people distance from me. People hug me less and shake my hand less than my abled counterparts. They always step a few steps away from me.  A study in Britain found that half of the working-age disabled people reported being lonely. That is 3 million people. A study in 2018 by the KFF found that having a disability was a large factor in whether someone feels lonely and isolated. This was true in the US, Japan, and the UK. The same study found that having a disability means you are twice as likely to feel alone or lonely. Think about this for just a moment....you have been living the quarantine life for a few weeks but this could be your everyday life. The only people you come in contact with are medical personnel or people at the grocery store.  

It is sad and isolating for all of us. The stresses of this life can be overwhelming and create additional health concerns if sustained for a long period of time. It is my hope that this small taste of what life with a disability is like will change the abled communities perception of disability. Perhaps now we can talk about more programs to help people with disabilities work, travel, have access to transportation, and more social activities. When this is over don't forget that there are still others in a structural quarantine that need us to continue to work to breakdown the walls that surround them.